Sunday, September 18, 2005

Sorry for the Silence

First of all, I want to thank you all for the support you have given me over the whole Red Cross thing. It really means alot to me!!

It looks like I am hitting a hard patch in life & I have no idea how long it will last, or where I will be at the end of it. I don't want to get into a lot of detail right now, but it looks like my marriage is in trouble & I had no idea. I knew my husband was unhappy, but I attributed it mostly to the problems he has been having at work & the demands placed on him by his family. Apparently, although he loves me & says I am his best friend, he is not sure that we will be happy in the "long run". He said that I am not ambitious enough & that he feels like he is my father. YIKES!

So, at this point we are looking for a good counselor, but honestly I don't know how much that will help. We already have good communication & don't express our feelings in screaming fits of rage. Plus, while there are behaviors that we both have that are annoying, that doesn't seem to be the problem. From what I have gathered it seems to be aspects of my personality that are the problem.

I think the worst part is that all weekend he hasn't wanted to talk about it & has been trying to act like everything is normal. Being silly & playful, wanting to spend all our time together. This is just making me even more anxious because I don't know where I stand.

So, that is what is going on right now. Haven't done any knitting in days.. heck, I haven't really eaten in days either. I will try to keep up the journal in the coming weeks, but forgive me if there are long periods of silence.

Thanks.

6 comments:

Denise said...

Thinking of you and hoping to see you tonight, but I'll understand if we don't...take care.

Ingrid said...

(((((((hugs)))))))

CJ said...

I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you.

Emily said...

we're here for you Kim whenever you need some knitting-n-bitching-n-laughing-n-crying therapy.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I am your secret pal! I will be lurking around your blog to see what I can learn about you! I am sorry you are a having a rough time, but a positive thing is that you are a strong enough person to recognize it. Not being married, I cannot advise, but between me and the "man", we have found some times things just need to be said out loud. And you have to be as honest with your self as you expect others to be with you. Good Luck.. I will be stopping in from time to time!

Melanie said...

Knowing where you are. Although that may not mean much, I DO understand. If counseling works for you, then fantastic. Just allow yourself to grieve.

And, hey, on the bright side... looks like you have a kick ass secret pal! :-)