Friday, December 21, 2007

Why Can't We Be Friends

Not usually the type of thing that I post here, but it's something that I've been pondering the last few days.

Within Ravelry there is a groups/forum page. It's wonderful, it allows people to make specialized group based on interest. I'm in quiet a few and every one has it's own group dynamic, although most are dominated by the posts of just a handful of members.

Now I am the first to admit that I am not everyone's cup of tea. I've always had very few, select friends. I sometimes feel like I'm a cult film, not for general consumption but loved by those few who get me.

That being said, there is one particular group that I'm involved in that I thought I would fit right in with. I really enjoyed it for about a month until it started to be dominated by just a few people and I realized that my opinions were drastically different from those that were being espoused. And being the type of person who dislikes conflict, I don't feel comfortable making my opinions known because I'm afraid that a. it would hurt someone's feelings and b. I would be attacked for them. So instead of having an actual debate about things, I sit here reading posts and start to feel contemptuous of the people who are posting.

It all makes me think that I should just leave the group, which makes me very sad.


Anonymous said...

I can relate. I feel that way too about some of the groups on ravelry. There seem to be people who spend thier entire day there- commenting as much as possible. I decided very early on that I wasn't going to get into it with people if I dissagreed with them-its not worth it on multiple levels. It sucks that its a group that you really enjoy.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand about forums, Kim, and am glad you posted this. I've been on some forums where people are very welcoming to n00bs, answering questions that all the regulars know, in general being very kind. Weekly Davespeak, a Dave Matthews Band fan news site, is like this. It doesn't matter how long you've enjoyed the band's music, you belong. It's a different story on the NIN blog. Everyone ignores the n00b and carries on their own little conversations until you want to say, "Get a room, please." The attitude among these fans seems to be that if you didn't catch the band from the beginning, you have no right to like the band now. (Can you tell I'm a little bitter?) For this reason, I'll remain a lurker on the site and not really join in. Life's too short to put up with such behavior.

CJ said...

I am sooooo right there with you sister. I try to pop in and pop out so that I don't get too irritated and the whole thing is spoiled. Maybe we just aren't "group" people? That's what I keep telling myself.

catsmum said...

Some of my Ravelry groups I belong to more as a way of signaling what I'm interested in. You know how all those little badges come up under your name on your profile page? Well I see it as a snapshot of the person.
That doesn't mean that I read all of them often or even at all.
Sometimes just belonging is enough.
That said I have left a few that made me uncomfortable.